Respecting Husbands
Author: Steve Amato
Description: Ways in which wives may show repect for their husbands
Keywords: wives, wife, submission, husband, obedience, respect, bible, bible study, marriage

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# Wives Respect Your Husbands

(KJV)

Eph 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Col 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1Pet 3:1,2 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

submit = hupotasso

to obey, be subject : A Greek military term meaning "to arrange troop divisions in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

reverence = phobeo {fob-eh'-o} 5399

1) to put to flight by terrifying (to scare away)
1a) to put to flight, to flee
1b) to fear, be afraid

1b1) to be struck with fear, to be seized with alarm

1b1a) of those startled by strange sights or occurrences
1b1b) of those struck with amazement

1b2) to fear, be afraid of one
1b3) to fear (i.e. hesitate) to do something (for fear of harm)

1c) to reverence, venerate, to treat with deference or reverential obedience

It is natural for our flesh to do and feel the opposite of God's will, as we are naturally rebellious and sinful. We fear the things we shouldn't and don't fear the things we should. We respect and honor the things which are shameful and we put to shame those whom we should honor and respect. And if I may be allowed to make some generalizations from a man's point of view: Though women are given a role of submission in the marriage relationship, actually men are much better at it. If you put a bunch of men together, they'll develop a vertical authoritative hierarchy - the military being an example. But if you put a bunch of women together, they'll develop a committee. Men tend to be better at accepting commands than women. And this is the primary manner in which submission is practiced: BY OBEYING COMMANDS. This is how love is practiced in vertical relationships by those under authority, as Jesus said:

John 14:21a "Whoever has my commands and obeys them,
he is the one who loves me."

Which develops intimacy:

John 14:21b "He who loves me will be loved by my Father,
and I too will love him and show myself to him."

### The Practice of Respecting Husbands: Some Advice for Wives

Some Don'ts:

- Don't carry on an affair. Often these result in mingling with men at the workplace.
- Never threaten divorce.
- Don't lie. It seems people often have the misconception that to respect someone that you don't feel respect for, you must lie. Always tell the truth or be silent.
- Don't boss your husband around. You can measure this to some extent by your grammar. In speaking to your husband, how frequently are your verbs in the imperative mood?

Some Do's:

- Treat the position of "husband" as if it were a legitimate position of authority even though the world doesn't.
- Treat your husband as a legitimate authority figure, even if he is an unbeliever or doesn't view himself as an authority. Men know that with authority comes responsibility. Thus they may avoid the role, or allow their wife to usurp it, just to avoid the responsibilities that come with the role. But by acknowledging their authority, this encourages them to also take on the responsibilities of the role.
  Furthermore, some men don't take on the responsibilities simply because they feel their wives treat them with contempt. And if wives view the marriage relationship in an egalitarian sense with equality of roles, then they are indeed treating their husbands with contempt, not recognizing the vertical relationship God established between husband and wife. Thus husbands may end up viewing their wives as a ruler his rebellious subjects or parents their rebellious children. It both breaks down the relationship and discourages the husband from acting as a leader of the family.
- Give advice and counsel rather than commands.
- Don't just obey explicit commands, but also infer commands. Just as Jesus doesn't give us explicit commands concerning the details of our lives, yet we infer applications from the Bible, so also wives should try to understand the commands, views and plans of her husband and infer particular applications herself. Realize that just as with Bible study you might infer the wrong thing at first, like Abraham had done, but inferences improve as you develop intimacy in the marriage. Just as Biblical faith is an application oriented faith, so Biblical submission is an application oriented submission. And this works both ways. As you learn how to respect and obey your husband, so also you will also learn how to respect and obey God. Raising children also has this reciprocal benefit.

The Berean Christian Bible Study Resources

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