The Bible never uses the phrase "Baptism of the Holy Spirit". That phrase is simply used to refer to the event when one is baptized with the Holy Spirit. As such baptism with the Holy Spirit is the event when one first receives the Holy Spirit. This event is inevitable for everyone who has put their faith in Christ. There are no conditions attached to it, not even water baptism. For Cornelius had been baptized with the Spirit before he was even water baptized.
Then I remembered what the Lord had said: 'John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' Ac 11:16 (Referring to the event at Cornelius' house in Acts 10)
Concerning this event, Peter equates the Baptism with the Holy Spirit with receiving the Holy Spirit
"They have received the Holy Spirit just as we have." Acts 10:47
Where he's referring back to what Jesus had said to the Apostles concerning Pentecost.
"For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit." Ac 1:5
Prior to this, the Apostles did not have the Holy Spirit (which kind of explains the change of their behavior after Pentecost)
"Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified. John 7:38,39
But some will say that they received the Spirit after Jesus' resurrection and before his ascension.
And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit." John 20:22
However, there was no indication that they actually received the Spirit at that point in time. Rather Jesus could have been pointing to the future event. For I don't believe he had yet been glorified in the manner he spoke of in John 7:39. For he also had said:
"And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began." John 17:5
And he was not yet in the presence of the Father until he ascended. And he had said that he would first have to go to the Father before he would send the Holy Spirit.
"But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you." John 16:7
"because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer" John 16:10
Baptism with the Holy Spirit is receiving of the Spirit when one first believes the gospel. Throughout the book of Acts, people hear and believe the gospel and then receive the Holy Spirit. In the case when people only hear of the message of repentance and responded to that, they have not heard the complete message and thus don't have the opportunity to believe and thus have not received the Holy Spirit. Paul ran into some of these in Acts 19:
"Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?" They answered, "No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit." So Paul asked, "Then what baptism did you receive?" "John's baptism," they replied. Paul said, "John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus." On hearing this, they were baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied.
Once a person believes, he receives the Holy Spirit. This is God's promise and God's responsibility.
Acts 2:38 Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Ga 3:2 I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard?
All believers have been baptized by the Holy Spirit
1Co 12:13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body-- whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free-- and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
And in fact if we haven't received the Spirit, then we don't belong to Christ.
Rom 8:9 And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.
If you have come to believe in Christ, then by faith reckon that you have received the Holy Spirit. Do not expect some special feeling or experience. For "we walk by faith and not by sight" 2Cor 5:7. There may be those who focus too much on the flesh demanding that you speak in tongues and have the same kind of experiences as in the book of Acts. Don't worry about it. The Bible never explicitly promises that there would be any particular experiences associated with the event of receiving the Spirit.
Some treat the baptism with the Holy Spirit as a way to distinguish the spiritually elite from those ordinary Christains who aren't as good as the rest of us. Of course I'm speaking factitiously. The Corinthian church seemed to have such an attitude of divisiveness with its "I am of Paul", "I am of Apollos" divisions. But in 1Cor 3, Paul basically calls them a bunch of babies. To categorize Christians as being "spiritual" or "unspiritual" based upon whether they had some feeling or speak in tongues is itself indicative of "unspiritual" thinking.
Once a person is born of God, there is only the process of maturing, which is a continuous process. There are no sudden jumps from being immature to mature. Birth, Justification (along with receiving the Spirit), Death - these are punctilinear events. These occur at points in time. There will be a sudden transformation after death. But sanctification in this life is a process. There are many experiences we have with the Holy Spirit that leads us to maturity. But these are related to our obedience to the Bible. We are filled with the Spirit and given spiritual gifts for the purpose of ministry. These are not to be used as signs that "I am better than you." If we don't have submission and service in mind or if we are simply trying to make ourselves "feel good" without service in mind, then I don't believe will give us the gifts and power of the Spirit to fill our lives. For such things are to be used in service to the Lord.
Edition: Jul 29,2015